I don't know if it's because blaming me for everything is the simplest solution for everyone, or if it's because I seem strong enough to take the blame.
But I'm not.
Saturday, 9 November 2013
& im getting really tired.
Sucks how whenever there's friendship issues, I'm always the bad guy. Always.
I don't know if it's because blaming me for everything is the simplest solution for everyone, or if it's because I seem strong enough to take the blame.
But I'm not.
I don't know if it's because blaming me for everything is the simplest solution for everyone, or if it's because I seem strong enough to take the blame.
But I'm not.
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
anxiety & panic attacks ):
helllooooooo! :-)
oopsiessssssssss, guess its been a month since I last blogged! :b
but exams are finally over, & I don't have to face the books anymore!! (well I mean if I have to take FA then......)
ANYWAYS, I figured I'd blog about one of my 'secrets' that not a lot of people know about. well okay, probably only my parents knows about it.
I have actually suffered from depression when I was 12. My parents immediately realized I was suffering from it & sent me for sessions with the psychiatrist! I can't really say that the sessions helped me because I felt like she couldn't really understand what I was feeling. BUT, I eventually grew out of it & came out of my shell after entering secondary school. I really have to thank my secondary 1 classmates for making me so very happy everyday & helping me overcome my depression, even though none of them knew I was suffering from it.
But this is not a happily ever after.
I continued to suffer from quite frequent panic attacks since it started when I was 12. It got pretty bad when I was about 14 & it got reaaaaally frequent. I remember I had a major panic attack when I was in Sweden when I was 13. It was my first time so far away from home & I started panicking in the middle of the night. I didn't have the guts to wake my room mate up so I just stayed curled up at the corner of the toilet till I fell asleep from exhaustion. Somehow it stopped when I turned 15 & so far, I've only had maybe 4 panic attacks? The last one I had was actually 3 months ago, not counting today's one.
So I got back 3 of my subject results today, & it was bloody depressing. My mom was kind enough to bear with my sullen face the entire day & took me out after I went to collect my passport.
On the way back, I suddenly suffered a panic attack. I don't know what triggered it, but it just happened. And it was terrifying. I suddenly felt so alone & lost & started panicking on the bus. All I can say is thank God for my mom & thank God for helping me get ride of the panic attack afterwards.
So this post is a little gloomy and depressing but I figured I really wanted to blog about it.
Thanks so much for reading this!
byeeeeeeeee ♥
"If God is for us, then who can ever stand against us?"
oopsiessssssssss, guess its been a month since I last blogged! :b
but exams are finally over, & I don't have to face the books anymore!! (well I mean if I have to take FA then......)
ANYWAYS, I figured I'd blog about one of my 'secrets' that not a lot of people know about. well okay, probably only my parents knows about it.
I have actually suffered from depression when I was 12. My parents immediately realized I was suffering from it & sent me for sessions with the psychiatrist! I can't really say that the sessions helped me because I felt like she couldn't really understand what I was feeling. BUT, I eventually grew out of it & came out of my shell after entering secondary school. I really have to thank my secondary 1 classmates for making me so very happy everyday & helping me overcome my depression, even though none of them knew I was suffering from it.
But this is not a happily ever after.
I continued to suffer from quite frequent panic attacks since it started when I was 12. It got pretty bad when I was about 14 & it got reaaaaally frequent. I remember I had a major panic attack when I was in Sweden when I was 13. It was my first time so far away from home & I started panicking in the middle of the night. I didn't have the guts to wake my room mate up so I just stayed curled up at the corner of the toilet till I fell asleep from exhaustion. Somehow it stopped when I turned 15 & so far, I've only had maybe 4 panic attacks? The last one I had was actually 3 months ago, not counting today's one.
So I got back 3 of my subject results today, & it was bloody depressing. My mom was kind enough to bear with my sullen face the entire day & took me out after I went to collect my passport.
On the way back, I suddenly suffered a panic attack. I don't know what triggered it, but it just happened. And it was terrifying. I suddenly felt so alone & lost & started panicking on the bus. All I can say is thank God for my mom & thank God for helping me get ride of the panic attack afterwards.
So this post is a little gloomy and depressing but I figured I really wanted to blog about it.
Thanks so much for reading this!
byeeeeeeeee ♥
"If God is for us, then who can ever stand against us?"
Monday, 19 August 2013
inspired (:
hellooooo!! (:
okay, so I haven't been blogging since forever, & I swear its not cause of my procrastinating self. I have no idea why, but every time I try to blog via my phone/iPad, blogger app just crashes on me! Not to mention how my Mac died a few weeks ago & I've been waaaay too busy to send it for repair.
anyways!! today, a senior of my school came back to give us a talk! (-: now, u may think its gonna be those typical boring career talks. (well that's what I thought at first) BUT NO! it surprisingly turned out to be really inspirational & engaging! Steph Phua, who's now 25, is a freelance blogger/dancer & all that cool stuff!!
COOL, NO?! (:
see, not every nanyang girl has to become a lawyer. or a doctor. or a member of the government.
I was really inspired to put my foot down & be firm on doing what I am passionate about. Her talk also led to my love for dance to be reignited! (: She has been dancing since 15, which means a whopping 10 years now!
Was really glad I got to speak to her individually after her talk. (saw her when I came out of the toilet & nearly fangirled) she was such a nice senior to talk to, & was really patient & understanding when I was talking to her! (: ♥
She blogs at stooffi.wordpress.com ^__^ do check it out!!
till my next post,
byeeeee! ♥
okay, so I haven't been blogging since forever, & I swear its not cause of my procrastinating self. I have no idea why, but every time I try to blog via my phone/iPad, blogger app just crashes on me! Not to mention how my Mac died a few weeks ago & I've been waaaay too busy to send it for repair.
anyways!! today, a senior of my school came back to give us a talk! (-: now, u may think its gonna be those typical boring career talks. (well that's what I thought at first) BUT NO! it surprisingly turned out to be really inspirational & engaging! Steph Phua, who's now 25, is a freelance blogger/dancer & all that cool stuff!!
COOL, NO?! (:
see, not every nanyang girl has to become a lawyer. or a doctor. or a member of the government.
I was really inspired to put my foot down & be firm on doing what I am passionate about. Her talk also led to my love for dance to be reignited! (: She has been dancing since 15, which means a whopping 10 years now!
Was really glad I got to speak to her individually after her talk. (saw her when I came out of the toilet & nearly fangirled) she was such a nice senior to talk to, & was really patient & understanding when I was talking to her! (: ♥
She blogs at stooffi.wordpress.com ^__^ do check it out!!
till my next post,
byeeeee! ♥
FOA 2013! (:
hellloooooo!! (:
super super late post eeps! been really busy recently ):
anyways, I went to watch the Festival Of Arts concert produced by my school with Leo on 5 July! (: it was okay I guess, like the band & music related performances were kinda entertaining :/ but I was actually really looking forward to watching the dancers (modern dance & chinese dance) perform!!! SADLY THEY DIDN'T. UGH. it made me & leo so pissed!!! our main point of going for FOA is to watch the dancers :< but I still took photos of what was going on so that u guys can see! (: there was performances by Chinese orchestra, string ensemble, hwa chong's Chinese drama club, theatre club & some unknown school's dance (can't remember what school it was, but I didn't really enjoy the perf :\) I really enjoyed the theatre club's performance by our school!! even though it was like the second time I have watched it I was still amazed by it. hands down to the best actresses ever man. script writing, choreography, lighting, equipments & everything else were all done by our students!! no involvement of teachers at all. the play is basically talking about one's happiness, & is based around a main character Ada who's a student with many tuitions & enrichment classes. the play starts by her 'calling wolf', which I interpreted as the 'evil spirits' that are claiming everyone's happiness & making everyone very materialistic. I think that the shadow effects & lines are really cool & I can tell that a lot of effort have been out into coming up with this play (:
it was a great day in short!
pictures coming up! ((& some cheeky intermission break selfies))
byeeeeee! ♥
super super late post eeps! been really busy recently ):
anyways, I went to watch the Festival Of Arts concert produced by my school with Leo on 5 July! (: it was okay I guess, like the band & music related performances were kinda entertaining :/ but I was actually really looking forward to watching the dancers (modern dance & chinese dance) perform!!! SADLY THEY DIDN'T. UGH. it made me & leo so pissed!!! our main point of going for FOA is to watch the dancers :< but I still took photos of what was going on so that u guys can see! (: there was performances by Chinese orchestra, string ensemble, hwa chong's Chinese drama club, theatre club & some unknown school's dance (can't remember what school it was, but I didn't really enjoy the perf :\) I really enjoyed the theatre club's performance by our school!! even though it was like the second time I have watched it I was still amazed by it. hands down to the best actresses ever man. script writing, choreography, lighting, equipments & everything else were all done by our students!! no involvement of teachers at all. the play is basically talking about one's happiness, & is based around a main character Ada who's a student with many tuitions & enrichment classes. the play starts by her 'calling wolf', which I interpreted as the 'evil spirits' that are claiming everyone's happiness & making everyone very materialistic. I think that the shadow effects & lines are really cool & I can tell that a lot of effort have been out into coming up with this play (:
it was a great day in short!
pictures coming up! ((& some cheeky intermission break selfies))
byeeeeee! ♥
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