helllooooooo! :-)
oopsiessssssssss, guess its been a month since I last blogged! :b
but exams are finally over, & I don't have to face the books anymore!! (well I mean if I have to take FA then......)
ANYWAYS, I figured I'd blog about one of my 'secrets' that not a lot of people know about. well okay, probably only my parents knows about it.
I have actually suffered from depression when I was 12. My parents immediately realized I was suffering from it & sent me for sessions with the psychiatrist! I can't really say that the sessions helped me because I felt like she couldn't really understand what I was feeling. BUT, I eventually grew out of it & came out of my shell after entering secondary school. I really have to thank my secondary 1 classmates for making me so very happy everyday & helping me overcome my depression, even though none of them knew I was suffering from it.
But this is not a happily ever after.
I continued to suffer from quite frequent panic attacks since it started when I was 12. It got pretty bad when I was about 14 & it got reaaaaally frequent. I remember I had a major panic attack when I was in Sweden when I was 13. It was my first time so far away from home & I started panicking in the middle of the night. I didn't have the guts to wake my room mate up so I just stayed curled up at the corner of the toilet till I fell asleep from exhaustion. Somehow it stopped when I turned 15 & so far, I've only had maybe 4 panic attacks? The last one I had was actually 3 months ago, not counting today's one.
So I got back 3 of my subject results today, & it was bloody depressing. My mom was kind enough to bear with my sullen face the entire day & took me out after I went to collect my passport.
On the way back, I suddenly suffered a panic attack. I don't know what triggered it, but it just happened. And it was terrifying. I suddenly felt so alone & lost & started panicking on the bus. All I can say is thank God for my mom & thank God for helping me get ride of the panic attack afterwards.
So this post is a little gloomy and depressing but I figured I really wanted to blog about it.
Thanks so much for reading this!
byeeeeeeeee ♥
"If God is for us, then who can ever stand against us?"
