broken.

have u ever had those moments when u want to break down? have u ever had those moments when u just want to stop everything and well, die?

I do. every, single, day.

being a Christian and all, I try my hardest not to think about these problems and just leave it all to God. I tried, I really did.

but sometimes I really just can't help it, I ask God, 'WHY? WHY IS IT LIKE THAT? WHY DO U LET ME SUFFER LIKE THAT? IS THIS A TEST? IF IT IS, CAN I GIVE UP?'

I consult my parents, I consult my friends. but none of them seem to help. they just don't know how I really feel. they don't know because they're not living my life. they merely give simple, retarded advices and just tell me that everything will be alright. and then they smile and forget all about my problems.

I wish I can be like them too. just smile, and forget about all my troubles.

well, smiling is the same as suicide, isn't it?

this isn't a suicidal post, it's more of a 'what I'm truly feeling now' post.

I try, but I fail.

I pray, but unanswered.

I trust, but wavered.

dear Lord, please help me.